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Matters of the Heart. Has a Commercial Fuck turned into a torrid Love Affair which has turned your life upside down? Fear not. We have experts here who can help you through your roller coaster ride. Tell us your story and we'll do our best to help.

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  #31  
Old 20-07-2012, 03:44 PM
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Re: how to make my FB fall for me?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Geiko View Post
Don't deceive yourself. Honestly if you guys were found out. You will be dropped within seconds. Crude fact but its true. I experienced this. I am a gal.
Me too. Got dropped like a hot potato. Not that i am a kantang.... And then i hit the ground and got smashed into smithereens. Was living like a zombie for two whole weeks!

But still, the heart and the mind never agree.

Quote:
Originally Posted by kengohchien View Post
But you know how women are. sometimes we just self-torture and i don't know why.

I know what i should do, but i can't do it.

and i don't want to tell any of my friends because they'll just judge me for being with a married man who is so much older.

Thanks all again. your replies mean alot to me because i've only had one gay friend to share this with so far.
It is tough loving someone when you cant tell anyone about it, even that person himself. But have you asked him if he has any feelings for you? Since his children are grown up, his wife is virtually not around, he can literally walk out of the waned relationship and enter into a romantic relationship with you?

That's me being idealistic.

Me being realistic, he might freak out and disappear from your life, leaving you heartbroken and confused.

Friends who judge you for stuff like that, they arent friends. They will be passerbys in your life, dont mind them!

Quote:
Originally Posted by micmac888 View Post
Having an FB and being a responsible guy/woman are not related.
I second that.



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  #32  
Old 20-07-2012, 08:08 PM
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Re: how to make my FB fall for me?

Ok, he might be a very charming n charismatic man but let's be realistic here.
There's no such thing as "forever fb", all good things will come to the end.
The more feelings u input, the deeper u will be hurt. Cut the strings n move on.
  #33  
Old 20-07-2012, 09:23 PM
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Re: how to make my FB fall for me?

Quote:
Originally Posted by onlyhuman View Post
You never missed a chance hor
Okie la, nv try = nv have a chance. TS sounds decent mah.

Quote:
Originally Posted by pendragon_sg View Post
be strong and live long
I like this.
If not strong will jump = live short. Very logical. +1.

Quote:
Originally Posted by ColourBlindx2 View Post
It is tough loving someone when you cant tell anyone about it, even that person himself. But have you asked him if he has any feelings for you? Since his children are grown up, his wife is virtually not around, he can literally walk out of the waned relationship and enter into a romantic relationship with you?

That's me being idealistic.

Me being realistic, he might freak out and disappear from your life, leaving you heartbroken and confused.

Friends who judge you for stuff like that, they arent friends. They will be passerbys in your life, dont mind them!

Colourblind f
I so agree with this last part of your entry.
Esp when they dun even bother finding out what happened and jumped or stamp chop guaranteed death judgement.
+1

=========
TS:
Hope u r doing ok.
  #34  
Old 21-07-2012, 08:58 AM
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Re: how to make my FB fall for me?

TS don't alter the term FB into something else. A lot of cases turn disasterous there are however good result but under the minority grps. Good luck ts
  #35  
Old 21-07-2012, 03:37 PM
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Re: how to make my FB fall for me?

Ts r u a guy?
  #36  
Old 21-07-2012, 04:10 PM
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Re: how to make my FB fall for me?

i talked to my fren for some times before we became FB. one of the things we talked a lot was how consumating our relationship would change our friendship. in the end we set a condition that we would leave our love with our spouses and only bring mr lust to our FB meet. yup, a pre-nup of sort cos we didnt know how the FB thingy wld turn out.

my 2 cents worth is, if die2 u want to try go ahead and explore a future with your FB, please go ahead. but be prepared that you will screw the FB relationship. at least by doing that, will put yourself out of misery and start afresh. you cant control how your FB will react to your feeling for him but you can take control of your life thereafter. TS, the ball is really in your court.
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  #37  
Old 21-07-2012, 09:41 PM
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Re: how to make my FB fall for me?

TS it takes two hands to clap. Since you partner is willing to only snap fingers with you. Its best not to force anything because forcing anything upon him will make you lose everything.

Bottomline - You are just a FB to him!
  #38  
Old 22-07-2012, 01:21 AM
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Re: how to make my FB fall for me?

Quote:
Originally Posted by kengohchien View Post
Hi everyone. Thanks for all your replies.

I thought i'd get slammed for being stupid (which of course i think i am, since i'm hoping for something that isn't really possible. Also the fact that i entered the relationship knowing that he probably just wanted an FB and now me seeking love, it's me being stupid really.

Thanks for all your PMs too. Alot of ppl in this forum are kind... not really what i was expecting because i expected alot of sardonic and well, it's a sex forum after all, so all the jaded-with-sex-tales-tirade people.

I think a couple of you talked about being unfair to his kids because he is married. yes, he has kids.. and ....

they are my age.. so they're not exactly school-going children but have moved out.. hence the empty-nest syndrome. i think i'm going to get blasted for being FB with a man so much older, but truth be told, i have a liking for older men. Younger men seem immature to me. I don't really go for looks, i guess it's chemistry. So it's his wife always being overseas and him being free with time on his hands, and me a person a little sick with her mundane job and seeking a little excitement.

Most of you are right - i have over-stepped the boundaries of being an FB. i never expected it would come to this. i thought i could differentiate between sex and love and i didn't know i could fall for someone so much older. So i just went ahead. the sex is good, but i like the post-sex cuddles and little whispers and closeness. Maybe that's when i started falling for him.

i find that because i am hurt that he is merely treating me as a sex object, i go on the defensive sometimes. i guess in some ways i am indirectly pushing him away. i ignore him at times because i feel unfairly treated, i tell myself that he just wants sex when he does nice things to me. i am essentially a bit of a wreck.

But you know how women are. sometimes we just self-torture and i don't know why.

I know what i should do, but i can't do it.

and i don't want to tell any of my friends because they'll just judge me for being with a married man who is so much older.

Thanks all again. your replies mean alot to me because i've only had one gay friend to share this with so far.
I agree with you... Older men are always more attractive to me as well.

Reading your posts strike a chord within me. I can feel you, and at the same time I know how much it sucks to be feeling this way right now. I think the best piece of advice I can offer you at the moment is to think through thoroughly and then make a firm decision on what you want - whether it is to stay purely as an FB, or to cut off contact from him completely.

You should've known that an FB relationship is merely about sex, and any niceness he shows to you has nothing to do with love and everything to do with lust. You should also know that it is virtually impossible for him to put down all he has right now - his wife, his kids, or to put it simply, his family - for you. He has too much to lose and frankly speaking, I don't think any sane guy would do just that, UNLESS he too has fallen head over heels in love with you, which I think is highly unlikely.

If you want to stay in this relationship, then you have to know your limits and boundaries. You have to curb your emotions (although I know how difficult this sounds already) because to have emotions involved in this relationship will potentially ruin it in time to come. Most importantly you should never let him know you're head over heels in love with him because that might scare him away, especially if he is very fearful about losing what he has right now.

I know this sounds awful but the only thing you can do at the moment is love him silently, from a distance. And hopefully when you meet the right guy who can satisfy you emotionally, you will move on and start a family of your own with a guy who loves you and whom you love as well. You have to know that there is no future with this married man, as much as you wish for things to have turned out otherwise.

All the best to you girl, I hope everything works out fine for you at the end. Stay strong and keep us updated on how things go.
  #39  
Old 22-07-2012, 01:27 AM
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Re: how to make my FB fall for me?

Quote:
Originally Posted by flowbow View Post
I agree with you... Older men are always more attractive to me as well.

Reading your posts strike a chord within me. I can feel you, and at the same time I know how much it sucks to be feeling this way right now. I think the best piece of advice I can offer you at the moment is to think through thoroughly and then make a firm decision on what you want - whether it is to stay purely as an FB, or to cut off contact from him completely.

You should've known that an FB relationship is merely about sex, and any niceness he shows to you has nothing to do with love and everything to do with lust. You should also know that it is virtually impossible for him to put down all he has right now - his wife, his kids, or to put it simply, his family - for you. He has too much to lose and frankly speaking, I don't think any sane guy would do just that, UNLESS he too has fallen head over heels in love with you, which I think is highly unlikely.

If you want to stay in this relationship, then you have to know your limits and boundaries. You have to curb your emotions (although I know how difficult this sounds already) because to have emotions involved in this relationship will potentially ruin it in time to come. Most importantly you should never let him know you're head over heels in love with him because that might scare him away, especially if he is very fearful about losing what he has right now.

I know this sounds awful but the only thing you can do at the moment is love him silently, from a distance. And hopefully when you meet the right guy who can satisfy you emotionally, you will move on and start a family of your own with a guy who loves you and whom you love as well. You have to know that there is no future with this married man, as much as you wish for things to have turned out otherwise.

All the best to you girl, I hope everything works out fine for you at the end. Stay strong and keep us updated on how things go.
*like*

To TS:

If using brain to think, break up now and snip off that budding love. NOW. Otherwise your heart will only end up in smithereens.

If using heart to think, be prepared to be smashed. It will be painful. And the pain will last you for a long time.

Dragging it isnt good as well, just delays the pain

I know, it's so easy to preach about it. But doing it is a whole lot more difficult. If you need someone to talk to, please include me into the talk-to list if you dont mind!



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  #40  
Old 22-07-2012, 02:15 AM
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Re: how to make my FB fall for me?

Quote:
Originally Posted by ColourBlindx2 View Post
*like*

To TS:

If using brain to think, break up now and snip off that budding love. NOW. Otherwise your heart will only end up in smithereens.

If using heart to think, be prepared to be smashed. It will be painful. And the pain will last you for a long time.

Dragging it isnt good as well, just delays the pain

I know, it's so easy to preach about it. But doing it is a whole lot more difficult. If you need someone to talk to, please include me into the talk-to list if you dont mind!



Colourblind f
Please include me in the talk-to list as well!
  #41  
Old 22-07-2012, 02:25 AM
tingx tingx is offline
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Re: how to make my FB fall for me?

Quote:
Originally Posted by flowbow View Post
I agree with you... Older men are always more attractive to me as well.

Reading your posts strike a chord within me. I can feel you, and at the same time I know how much it sucks to be feeling this way right now. I think the best piece of advice I can offer you at the moment is to think through thoroughly and then make a firm decision on what you want - whether it is to stay purely as an FB, or to cut off contact from him completely.

You should've known that an FB relationship is merely about sex, and any niceness he shows to you has nothing to do with love and everything to do with lust. You should also know that it is virtually impossible for him to put down all he has right now - his wife, his kids, or to put it simply, his family - for you. He has too much to lose and frankly speaking, I don't think any sane guy would do just that, UNLESS he too has fallen head over heels in love with you, which I think is highly unlikely.

If you want to stay in this relationship, then you have to know your limits and boundaries. You have to curb your emotions (although I know how difficult this sounds already) because to have emotions involved in this relationship will potentially ruin it in time to come. Most importantly you should never let him know you're head over heels in love with him because that might scare him away, especially if he is very fearful about losing what he has right now.

I know this sounds awful but the only thing you can do at the moment is love him silently, from a distance. And hopefully when you meet the right guy who can satisfy you emotionally, you will move on and start a family of your own with a guy who loves you and whom you love as well. You have to know that there is no future with this married man, as much as you wish for things to have turned out otherwise.

All the best to you girl, I hope everything works out fine for you at the end. Stay strong and keep us updated on how things go.
Woooo, this is nicely said.

Indeed, as a guy, putting myself in ur fb's shoes, i would do exactly tat too... though if i am married, i probably will stay a faithful husband/father. ESP more so when i have kids.

There is indeed no future with your fb, and if really breaks up with his family, i doubt this guy is worth it aniwae, since he will prob do the same w u when he finds another.... entering a vicious marriage, divorce, marriage, divorce, marriage, divorce rs......

My 1 cents worth.
  #42  
Old 22-07-2012, 03:29 AM
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Re: how to make my FB fall for me?

Hi everyone. Thanks for the replies again.

Flowbow

i agree completely with what you've said, but it hurts.
any niceness he shows to you has nothing to do with love and everything to do with lust
Yes. so true. whatever he says or does, somehow i keep reminding myself that he may just be lying or doing something just to gain favour for more sex. (because we don't really have sex that frequently).

ColourBlindx2
Sorry to hear you've been through so much pain. i hope you've moved on completely.

--------

Against my more rational self, i met up with him again today and we had sex.
I don't quite know how to describe my emotions. Strangely, i think i am ok.
Well.... the good sex could be a factor. satiated naybe.

it's almost 3.30am and i'm a bit brain dead.
and i have 12 hours to think about whether to repeat it tomorrow.
  #43  
Old 22-07-2012, 03:33 AM
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Re: how to make my FB fall for me?

Quote:
Originally Posted by kengohchien View Post
Hi everyone. Thanks for the replies again.

Flowbow

i agree completely with what you've said, but it hurts.
any niceness he shows to you has nothing to do with love and everything to do with lust
Yes. so true. whatever he says or does, somehow i keep reminding myself that he may just be lying or doing something just to gain favour for more sex. (because we don't really have sex that frequently).

ColourBlindx2
Sorry to hear you've been through so much pain. i hope you've moved on completely.

--------

Against my more rational self, i met up with him again today and we had sex.
I don't quite know how to describe my emotions. Strangely, i think i am ok.
Well.... the good sex could be a factor. satiated naybe.

it's almost 3.30am and i'm a bit brain dead.
and i have 12 hours to think about whether to repeat it tomorrow.
Jiayou!


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  #44  
Old 22-07-2012, 03:40 AM
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Re: how to make my FB fall for me?

Kambades wor!
  #45  
Old 22-07-2012, 06:03 AM
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Re: how to make my FB fall for me?

Quote:
Originally Posted by tingx View Post
Kambades wor!
putting in my 2 cents worth ... i am married and had a couple of FB's.

some of them are fun, better in sex and has some qualities better than my wife but i will never ever leave my wife for any of them because i know it will shatter my wife's heart if i do that ......

but if Jennifer Aniston or Angelie Jolie ask me to ... that will be a dilemma for me.
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