5 years since I walked out....

[larue]

I have recently noticed further transformation in my son, transformation that makes me proud. And with the knowledge that I need worry very little about him, that whatever happens to me, he will go on to have a fruitful life.

That girls are starting to look at him covetously, but he knows that with great power comes great responsibility, and I know he will exercise that power responsibly. ie not get your daughters pregnant at 18 years old.

He will not flounder hopelessly in life, love and school like I did.

My point is that none of this would have happened if I had not decided to walk out 5 years ago.

I am happier, she is happier (she'll not admit it though), and he has turned out far better than if we had all stayed together.

I'm not suggesting that every unhappy man or woman walk right out of their marriage (and or family), but of the situation is fucked up enough for everyone, don't stay out of some misguided obligation, but more likely, fear.

Of course, many caveats apply and your mileage may vary. Quite often and unfortunately, according to the financial resources at your disposal.

As George Costanza aptly puts it, he understands divorce very well because he's the unfortunate product of parents who stayed together.

Everyday I see parents fucking their kids up by staying together.

One thing worse than being a bad/absent spouse and/or parent is faking it, and failing to fake it well. That's from a lifetime of experience.

Feel free to share your experience.

A lot of people can benefit from hearing how other people's experiences.

[Zetyalpha]

Originally Posted by larue

I have recently noticed further transformation in my son, transformation that makes me proud. And with the knowledge that I need worry very little about him, that whatever happens to me, he will go on to have a fruitful life.

That girls are starting to look at him covetously, but he knows that with great power comes great responsibility, and I know he will exercise that power responsibly. ie not get your daughters pregnant at 18 years old.

He will not flounder hopelessly in life, love and school like I did.

My point is that none of this would have happened if I had not decided to walk out 5 years ago.

I am happier, she is happier (she'll not admit it though), and he has turned out far better than if we had all stayed together.

I'm not suggesting that every unhappy man or woman walk right out of their marriage (and or family), but of the situation is fucked up enough for everyone, don't stay out of some misguided obligation, but more likely, fear.

Of course, many caveats apply and your mileage may vary. Quite often and unfortunately, according to the financial resources at your disposal.

As George Costanza aptly puts it, he understands divorce very well because he's the unfortunate product of parents who stayed together.

Everyday I see parents fucking their kids up by staying together.

One thing worse than being a bad/absent spouse and/or parent is faking it, and failing to fake it well. That's from a lifetime of experience.

Feel free to share your experience.

A lot of people can benefit from hearing how other people's experiences.

My experience is bad from reading this article. Flashbacks of vietnam is inevitable. People called it PTSD these days

[Fucktheworld]

good that things work out for you and your son. hope it will help other too. cheers

[BushTracker]

( Click to show/hide )

Originally Posted by larue

I have recently noticed further transformation in my son, transformation that makes me proud. And with the knowledge that I need worry very little about him, that whatever happens to me, he will go on to have a fruitful life.

That girls are starting to look at him covetously, but he knows that with great power comes great responsibility, and I know he will exercise that power responsibly. ie not get your daughters pregnant at 18 years old.

He will not flounder hopelessly in life, love and school like I did.

My point is that none of this would have happened if I had not decided to walk out 5 years ago.

I am happier, she is happier (she'll not admit it though), and he has turned out far better than if we had all stayed together.

I'm not suggesting that every unhappy man or woman walk right out of their marriage (and or family), but of the situation is fucked up enough for everyone, don't stay out of some misguided obligation, but more likely, fear.

Of course, many caveats apply and your mileage may vary. Quite often and unfortunately, according to the financial resources at your disposal.

As George Costanza aptly puts it, he understands divorce very well because he's the unfortunate product of parents who stayed together.

Everyday I see parents fucking their kids up by staying together.

One thing worse than being a bad/absent spouse and/or parent is faking it, and failing to fake it well. That's from a lifetime of experience.

Feel free to share your experience.


A lot of people can benefit from hearing how other people's experiences.

How is your relationship with your son now? When you said you walked out, you mean you literally disappeared from their lives or do you mean you divorce and he stayed with his mom?

I am asking because I am divorced for 2 years and my relationship with my 20-something year old son is not well. I miss the relationship I had with my son before the divorce.

One thing worse than being a bad/absent spouse and/or parent is faking it, and failing to fake it well. That's from a lifetime of experience.

This statement rang a bell with me.. This was what I thought when I decided to go through with the divorce. But now, looking at my son, I am not so sure.

[onhamotminh]

Originally Posted by BushTracker

( Click to show/hide )

How is your relationship with your son now? When you said you walked out, you mean you literally disappeared from their lives or do you mean you divorce and he stayed with his mom?

I am asking because I am divorced for 2 years and my relationship with my 20-something year old son is not well. I miss the relationship I had with my son before the divorce.



This statement rang a bell with me.. This was what I thought when I decided to go through with the divorce. But now, looking at my son, I am not so sure.

Problem in the relationship between mom and child should not be there just because of a divorce. Wishing you figure it out.

[BushTracker]

Originally Posted by onhamotminh

Problem in the relationship between mom and child should not be there just because of a divorce. Wishing you figure it out.

Sorry.. huh?

problem between mom (my ex-wife) and child? I am talking about problem between my son and me (the father), as I am seen as the one who initiated the divorce and hence broke up the family.

[BoLiang]

no experiences to share but a great single dad once shared: A lousy husband doesnt mean he cant be a great dad. The roles are somewhat intertwingled yet they can be executed fully independent of each other. The trick is to separate them and dont drag the husband part into the r/s with children.