[Willamshakspear]

Hi Qwerty6969.

I do agree with you on your points, such as women are not toys, & the sex act between a husband & wife in love is about being wanted, desired, the warmth of intimacy hugging each other in comfort till dawn arises..but sadly, the male's perspective is just simply an itch to be scratched to relive oneself...when it's over, turn over & drift off to sleep. Insensitive for sure to the female partner.

It is only common amongst married couples, more so after years & kids arrive. Having sex becomes a chore, as the male would have explored & discovered every contour & crevice of his lady partner, the same pattern, the same bed, each sex act, & instead would focus more on his responsibilities as a family man - career, kids, bills, etc to put food on the table for his loved ones - higher priorities than just mere sex acts.

However, women are not toys and have needs - the sentimental romantic notions that brought couples together in the initial courtship years that led to marriage. Your husband still loves you, but just probably insensitive or have little knowledge to your needs for warmth & intimacy..

Do not worry. Such intimacy that happened in the past can be rekindled - it just need the imaginative spark from you, patience & effort in the initial stage of rekindling intimacy.

A change in hairstyle, fake long eyelashes, whiff of perfume, slight makeup, etc, even at home. Most married women like to put on the dowdy looking slip dress for simplicity. Do not use it as it excites no male. Instead, wear sleeveless shirts that show off navel & side boobs with a hint of nipples appearing as you move. Wear satin or denim shorts to accentuates your hips & legs.

The concept is to make him excited, set his heart beating & pant for you. Just do not over do it as most women did - wear a sexy costume one night after dowdy dresses for years. It will only either make him laugh at your clownish efforts, or shock him into fear. Instead, do it slowly, but surely, a bit at a time, innocuously, for him to notice your gradual sexy change that will set his heart racing.

When he start desiring you at bed time, have patience...play with him, have some foreplay first - kissing, touching, to enhance his desire. When the sex act happens, equally have patience & kindness, especially the first few times, because once a man reach his late 30s or 40s, there may be issues of penis erection or its sustainability for long.

Do not be disappointed, but let him know its ok, then tell him kindly but firmly, with a cheeky twinkle from your eye that you will conduct an experiment with a viagra pill, to give him just after dinner, as the pill will only take effect after 1 or 2 hrs later, so that he need not be shy or feel inadequate to please you.

Once his confidence & manhood is literally inflated, he will enjoy making love to you again, & give you the intimacy you seek for, & from there, more experiments to teach him how to please you as you pleasure him..so long as none is harmed behind closed doors.

Hope it works.