Think below link may help. So far the most comprehensive assistance out there
https://www.reddit.com/r/sex/comment...made_sex_with/
Here's my background:
Started masturbating around age 11, and continued to do so pretty much daily until age 22.
Almost always watched porn while masturbating. While I started with mostly vanilla stuff, I became desensitized over time and needed more and more extreme visual stimulation as time went on
Had sex a decent amount, but mostly with steady girlfriends, so I didn't use a condom usually. Broke up with girlfriend and realized that I just couldn't maintain an erection while using a condom with new girls. Pressure and anxiety started to get to me, and the sensation just wasn't there.
So here's what I did to fix this problem:
I stopped masturbating with my hand. It just isn't the right sensation, and in my opinion it's just a totally lazy way to get off. When I used to masturbate, I would just sit in my computer chair and jerk my hand up and down at a pace that I could NEVER match with actual bodily thrusts during sex. Sex is far more physically engaging. You have to hold yourself up. You have to thrust your hips. I wanted to simulate actual sex without having to worry about anxiety issues that may come with a girl in the room, so what I did was buy a Fleshlight. I made sure to NEVER hold the Fleshlight in my hand and move it over my penis like I used to do with my hand while masturbating. Instead, I stuck it between my boxspring and mattress so that it remained stationary, and fucked it like I would have to fuck a girl. I started using the Fleshlight without a condom, but as my erection strength improved I began to use condoms every time.
I stopped watching porn entirely. Simply put, if you're used to threesomes and double anal with porn stars, plain old missionary sex with a "normal" girl probably isn't going to be all that stimulating. The only visual stimulation that I allowed myself during my sessions with the Fleshlight were PICTURES OF GIRLS THAT I HAD ALREADY HOOKED UP WITH or GIRLS THAT I HAD A LEGITIMATE CHANCE OF HOOKING UP WITH. I wanted to make an effort to stop going to a mental fantasy land every time I got off, because I wouldn't be able to go there during real sex. Realistic mental and visual stimulation only.
I started doing Kegel exercises. They work and I swear by them. The problem that a lot of people have with Kegels is finding a routine and sticking with it. What I did was buy a mobile app called Prostate Aerobics ($2.99). I set two alarms per day and did them 6 days per week (Sunday off). I started at level 1 and let it automatically bump me up to level 9 over the course of ~6 weeks. After I had done level 9 twice a day for a week or so, I started setting 3 alarms per day (still with one off day per week). It starts out easy but actually gets pretty difficult. One session of level 9 is over 10 minutes long. My erections got stronger and I was able to maintain them much easier. Morning wood was stronger than ever. Random boners during the day came back. I seriously cannot recommend Kegels enough.
I started lifting weights and doing cardio. While I've always been in decent shape, I've never been particularly strong. Sex used to be taxing for me. My triceps would burn when holding myself up and I would lose my breath. I'm also assuming that my bloodflow was horrible because I hadn't really done any real physical activity since high school. All of these things made it harder for me to maintain my erection. If you've never lifted weights before, I would recommend a beginner's strength program like Starting Strength or Strong Lifts 5x5. Eventually I "graduated" to a Push/Pull/Legs routine, and I continued doing cardio (jogging) in the mornings. Sex is no longer physically taxing for me, so I'm much more comfortable in bed. Getting in shape also means fixing your diet, but I don't really want to get too into the fitness stuff here. There's just too much info for me to go over.
I found a condom that fits me. My penis is a little bigger than average (about 7.25" erect) and I always felt constricted in condoms. I perform best while using Durex Love condoms. They're bigger than normal (not quite as big as Magnums though) and they're very thin. Unfortunately, they may be discontinued, so I might have to search for a new kind to use.
That's pretty much it. I can now use condoms during sex, maintain my erection for as long as need, and ejaculate. Anxiety went away because I'm able to "practice" at home and hone my abilities. Life is better now. I hope this helps some of you out there looking for answers.