[kengohchien]

The past months have been fun. We went on a holiday together, 5 days in HK.

Today we had sex in his house since his wife is overseas. my period's a bit late, but i tested negative on a pregnancy test kit. He was saying casually that i should just bear him a child, to which i retorted that I would not because he doesn't love me and just treats me like a sex plaything.
He was silent for a while and then kissed me and said I'm not only beautiful but smart.

I'm hurting right now. I know it's my fault for not ending it. each time i think i can just treat it as just another fuck. but after sex, the intimacy just makes me feel so safe and secure and warm. and it's the kind of feeling that i feel i don't deserve because i think i'm just a lousy person.

I've found a new job. I'm just waiting for my medical to be cleared and then i can tender. i don't think i'll tell him where i'm going.

and yes, he is my superior. my boss' boss' boss to be exact.
am a tangled web of emotions right now.